Being sad or gay
by Daaf
Summary: SLASH! Ron Seamus, don't read it if you can't stand boytoboy scenes or when you're younger than 12. Enjoy it!


**Slash-story: RonSeamus I do not owe any of the characters, J.K. Rowling does. I'm just taking advantage of them (heh heh). Don't read this if you can't stand boy-to-boy scenes (especially sexually). Enjoy it. xxx**

**Being sad or gay**

_Ron --- February 14th _

_Seamus told me he has always known he's different. I haven't. I just started thinking about it when I was about 15 years old. But Seamus knew. Ever since he is born. That's incredible, isn't? I love him so much! He's so special. Not just some 16 year old boy, but my 16 year old boy. Sometimes I wonder whether I should tell him, you know. Because we do have a relationship, I know, but we never actually said we love each other. But we do. Or at least, I do. I think I'll prove my love to him tonight. Neville asked me to help him with his essay for Snape. But luckily Dean and Hermione volunteered, which means that Seamus and I have the dormitory for ourselves. (Harry goes out with Luna.) I can't believe tonight's the night. It's going to happen. I just know. Can't wait._

_Seamus --- February 14th _

_Valentine's Day. Ron and I hang out together all day. And we did a bit of kissing (yay) behind a rosebush in the grounds. I love him. I just hope he really loves me too, 'cause he never told me he does. But I haven't told him either, that's true. I do love him, but I don't just want to say: 'Ron, I love you.' It's got to be more. Maybe I'll make a move tonight, when we're alone. I overheard Dean talking to Neville about how he and Hermione are going to help Neville with his essay for Potions tonight. And Ron told me that Harry and Luna are going out tonight, so we're all alone. So I think I'll do something tonight, though I'm not sure whether I dare. I mean, what if he thinks I'm going to fast and dumps me. I don't think I could cope with that. No, I'll just have to wait._

It was almost 9 pm and Ron still hadn't done anything. He was sitting near the fireplace, Seamus on his lap and he was caressing Seamus's back. Why didn't he do something? Just do it, he told himself, but there came no difference in the movements he was making. On the count of three, he told himself sternly. One...two...three..........four...no, he just couldn't do it. But he had to. He sat there, his two inner selves fighting each other.

Seamus threw a sidelong look at his watch: almost 9 am and still nothing had happened. Or well, nothing, that was not totally true. He was sitting on Ron's lap, while Ron's long, tender fingers were touching his back. It felt nice. Ron's hands were warm, a bit sweaty maybe, but it felt good. But he wanted more. He was so erotically loaded that he would burst with desire if nothing would happen soon. Very soon. He turned around to face his boyfriend.

Ron smiled at Seamus, but did not stop rubbing his back. He knew Seamus liked it, he felt the goosebumps under his fingers. 'What?' he asked, when Seamus didn't turn back.

'I don't know,' Seamus answered. 'but lately I'm kind of having the feeling that we -' he tried to find the right words. How could he explain this to Ron, without hurting him? How could he tell him this, without making it sound as though he only cared about the sex, and not about the great time they were having together, just hanging around like this? 'Never mind.' He said and then he turned his back to Ron again.

Ron looked at the back of the head of his boyfriend. What was that about? What had Seamus meant? Had it anything to do with their relationship? He stopped stroking Seamus and got up. 'I'm going to bed. I'm tired.' he added hastily, when he saw Seamus's questioning face. He faked a yawn, gave Seamus a quick kiss on his cheek and went upstairs to their dormitory.

Seamus remained behind, looking astonished. What the hell did that mean? Was it because of what he had said? No, he thought, it couldn't be, because he actually hadn't said anything. He decided to go after Ron; he needed to find out what was wrong.

He only sat on his bed for a minute or maybe even less, when Seamus walked into the dormitory too. 'I thought you were going to sleep.' he said, frowning. Ron sighed. What could he say? He couldn't possibly tell Seamus, could he? If he did, Seamus would surely freak out en break up with him immediately. But he wanted something to happen. They couldn't just stay there forever, looking at each other.

Seamus tried hard not to repeat his question. He knew Ron had heard him. But then why didn't he answer. Did Ron still love him? Was there probably something going on that he had missed? But Ron didn't look like he was going to say anything at all, so Seamus decided to be true. 'Look, Ron. I know there's something wrong. Why don't you tell me? Has is got something to do with me?' He kind of hoped Ron would shake his head, laugh and say: 'Sorry, Seamus, I'm just being upset about my last bad mark for Transfiguration.' But Ron didn't. He remained silent.

What did he have to say? How could he probably make this worse? He'll just need to tell Seamus, there was no way out. If he stayed silent for one more minute, he was sure Seamus would leave.

Seamus looked at Ron again. If he wasn't going to say anything, he'd just leave. Okay, give him one more minute, he thought. And as though Ron had thought the same thing, he opened his mouth and said: 'Yes, Seamus, it's about you.' Seamus's heart sank. So it was about him. Was Ron going to break up with him? That couldn't possibly happen, could it? They were made for each other, and they both knew they were. He took a deep breath to calm himself and asked: 'Then, what is it?'

'Sit down' Ron said, moving over on his bed, so Seamus could fit onto it too. Seamus sat, and Ron couldn't help noticing that he looked even prettier so closeby. He mustered up all his courage and said: 'Seamus, I think we could take the next step, sexually.' He fell silent again. He wasn't able to say one more word, his mouth was very dry.

What?! So Ron thought about it the same way as he did! Seamus could scream with happiness. He wrapped his arms around Ron and leaned his head against Ron's shoulder. Then he laughed.

Why did Seamus laugh? He didn't think Ron was joking, did he? Because he was serious. He tried to free himself from Seamus's hug and looked at his boyfriend. 'What's so funny?' He was aware of how tense his voice sounded.

Seamus stopped laughing. He understood Ron's uncertainty, and he didn't want to make it worse. So he stopped laughing and explained. 'I was actually thinking the exact same thing back in the common room, that was what I wanted to tell you. But I didn't dare. But now you've said it; I agree.'

Ron felt so relieved it was as though his love for Seamus had just grown even bigger - if possible. He turned to him and looked him right in the face. He felt happier than he had ever done.

Next morning both boys were scribbling in their diaries. Harry, Dean and Neville had already taken of for breakfast, but Ron and Seamus hadn't. They had much more important stuff to do: writing about last night, about what had happened after their little misunderstanding:

_Ron --- February 15th _

_Oh my god! It just can't be true. I feel like I've just had the best dream of my life, but it's no dream, it's real! Last night, after Seamus and I had a little sort of mixed-up situation, we had something else. Sex. And not just sex, but the best sex ever! _

_I don't get it, why Harry is talking about girls and stuff. Girls suck. Boys suck too, but in a different way. In a pleasant way. We were sitting on my bed and then I kissed him. Not very vehement, but tender and gentle. And he kissed back. But how! Not like anything we've ever done before. There was a spark, a big red (or pink, haha) erotic spark shooting between us. It was awesome. Then he suddenly pushed me over onto my bed and started undressing me._

_First he untied the buttons of my blouse, then he ripped it of my body and threw it away. I still haven't found it, but who cares? Anyway, then he took off my shoes and then his own, then our socks. He tickled my feet for a moment, but instantly stopped when I started laughing; I can't bear tickling. Then he pulled off his own shirt and our pants and with nothing left on our bodies but our boxers, we started kissing again. But now it was different. There was not just one erotic spark, there were thousands of them. Millions. It was amazing. _

_He not just kissed me on my mouth (or better: in my mouth), but also on my nose, cheek, neck and then he went lower and lower, with his hot, incredibly strong lips, which I like so much. He stopped kissing me when he was finished with my nipples, breast and belly button and looked up in my eyes again. I could see the lust that was turning me on so much and I rolled over, pushing him down on the four-poster. He let me do everything to him as he had done to me. I felt slightly ashamed that I had enjoyed his kissing so much that I hadn't done anything myself to please hím. _

_So I decided to go a bit further than he had, just to prove that I could be enterprising too. When I landed at his navel I pushed down his boxer a little bit with my teeth, just until I saw a few hairs protruding from under the elastic brim of his underwear. I wanted to move on, but I couldn't. I couldn't look at it, I just needed to touch it, without seeing it. _

_So I straightened (wrong chosen word, haha) myself till we were head to head and then I slowly pushed my hand down his breast, his stomach, the brim of this boxer and even lower. For a moment I wondered whether to put my hand ín his boxer, but I wasn't ready to touch his skin in places like that, so I stayed outside his boxer, but my hand didn't stop. It went lower and lower, until I felt something hard, hitting my hand. Seamus was getting really horny now. I just had to push all my doubt and nerves away, I wanted first place to them. So I threw all my fears aside and pressed my hand softly onto his - you know what._

_He moaned with pleasure. I actually made him moan! I was so proud, it took all my nerves away, just like that. Now that I had more self-confidence, I became more violent. But in a nice way. Let's say: erotically violent. _

_I firmed my grip around his youknowwhat and started to rub it very slowly and gentle. I could feel the lust rushing through my and also through his body. We were both moaning like crazy now. I had lost all my doubts, so I pushed down my shorts and slightly rolled off of him, giving him space to take off his as well. He didn't hesitate for a moment, it was like he had waited for this the whole night. _

_He pulled them off in less than a second and threw them next to my bed, just on top of mine. When I lied down on him again it was amazing. When our youkwnowwhats touched each other, it was like... like... I don't got words for it. You can't describe it. It's so much much much better than I could've ever dreamt it would be. We moved against each other. It seemed as though all air between us had vanished, we were glowed together and we weren't ever going to stop. I wanted to stay there, doing that for the rest of my life. It was fantastic. It was more than fantastic. So much more. _

_We wanted to be so close together, and even that wasn't good enough! We moved up and down, so that our youknowwhats stuck together until I didn't know which one was mine and which was his. There were just two of them and we both owned them. Together. _

_I wanted to stay like this forever, but Seamus apparently wanted to move on, to do more and more. So he stopped moving and turned me on my back again. He was back in the role of the leader and he seemed to enjoy giving love rather more than receiving it. He pushed his hand on my youknowwhat just as I had done, but I'm telling you, it was better than anything. I couldn't just moan, I needed to do more, express my love and especially my lust even more. More and more. _

_I didn't care how hard I screamed, I wouldn't have cared if someone had walked in at that very moment, I was just so caught in Seamus's lust that nothing else seemed to matter. He slowly slid down along my body, until his head was at the same high as my youknowwhat. Then he 'attacked'. He placed his mouth around my entire youknowwhat - as far as possible - and started to suck. And if I say suck, I mean suck. Bloody Hell, that felt good. I was drowning in lust, I actually thought I would die from it. But I didn't care, as long as Seamus didn't stop. _

_But he stopped. But when he made his next move I didn't care anymore that he had stopped. I was grateful for the fact that he had stopped, because I liked the thing he was doing now even better. He was licking my whole area, if you know what I mean. Not just my youknowwhat - oh, screw it: my penis - but also my balls, my hair and actually everything around it. _

_He was licking it, kissing it, biting it (very soft and tender, though, it felt nice). And suddenly all those things didn't seem enough. We couldn't be confident with just being close against each other, we had to be ín each other. We both felt it at the same time. We both felt we were ready. So Seamus turned me around and rubbed my butt. _

_I reached behind my back for his youknowwhat - damn it, his penis - and I found it. Man, I found it! It was bigger than mine (I'm sorry, but I couldn't help noticing) now that Seamus was getting a hard-on and it felt wonderful. I couldn't believe that in a few seconds it was going to be mine, 'cause in a few seconds we (Seamus and me) would be one. _

_The last thing I felt was the pressure of Seamus's body on the back of mine and then he came in me. It was indescribable. It's the best feeling I ever had in my life. Of course, it hurt a bit in the beginning, but what the hell. The feeling I had next was double worth the pain. _

We did it for almost a minute when Seamus came. I'm telling you, if he had ever done this before (which he hasn't, I asked him a few days ago) he would forget about all those times. They weren't real. But this was real. This so was.

_After it we kissed a bit more but then we heard footsteps on the stairs and we didn't want anyone to catch us, so I dived under my blanket and Seamus under his. It was Dean. When he saw us lying there, our clothes still everywhere on the ground, he probably realised what we'd done. Without another word he turned around and left. _

_We haven't seen him or any of the others ever since. We stowed away our clothes, pulled on our pyjamas, said goodnight to each other and tried to sleep. I heard Seamus breath deeply before I fell asleep, so I think we honestly both were asleep when the rest arrived in our dormitory._

_  
Seamus --- February 15th _

_Ron allowed me to read his diary and I don't think I can put it in another way: last night we did it and it was more than amazing (for details go to Ron's diary). I don't want to give my own version of it, because everything is already mentioned in Ron's and I don't want to ruin his beautiful way of describing our night. So I'm gonna leave it here, I just want to say: Ron, I love you and as you have now found out: In this life you can chose between being sad and straight or glad and gay. Love, your boyfriend. _


End file.
